Goodbye 2

The waiting for his family was such an ordeal itself. The activities I did earlier kept my mind busy. It made me focused. When everything is ready and all we did was wait for his family, I felt numb. I was 'blank' most of the time. I felt like 'stranded' at that hospital yard.

The family finally arrived at 21.30. They went directly to the morgue and signed the documents. I later heard that the representative of the family was his father-in-law and brother-in-law because his father and wife just couldn't take the news and were in deep shock. I can only
imagine. Perhaps they had said their goodbyes to him earlier in the day and did not expect him in this condition in the usual hour when he's home safe and sound

Then, they put him in the ambulance with two office cars following.

When there was only silence in my car and I was alone, I cried. The tears that were held by I don't know what finally dropped. I said my istighfar and drove home, slowly. I was still blank, even when I was in bed. There are chills now and then. I prayed and chanted 'ayat kursi' and and only then, I could sleep.

Not a long sleep, though. I woke up at 2 and now I'm writing this.
Praying for him is the next thing on my list.

May Allah takes you by His side. (In memory of Suryansyah - LIA KG technician)