Lost for Words

I was looking at your stone...

From home I thought of lots of things to say.

My week was great, Mom.
I was so happy when I gave that training for the kindergarten teachers.
I want to tell you how tired I have been.
I want to tell you how happy I was. A present from a former student.
My heart is full of love and warmth.
I want to tell you how a news long awaited for is finally heard.

I want to touch your plump hands.
I miss looking for your grey hair that made your head itchy.
I want to touch your long curly shiny hair.
I want to put on your shoes, earrings and blouse.
I want to drive you around and stop at any place we want when we see something delicious to eat.
I want you to open the gate for me.
I want you to shout when I wake up late.
I want to see you laugh when I tell you stories about students when I go home from work.

So many words to say but all I did was looking at your grave until my sights blurred.

Ow, Mom.
It's almost six years, my feelings stay the same.
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.
*sob sob sob*