A Hole in My Heart

I sit in the harbor,
Watching what's not near me,
All the boats in the nearby sea,
Large and small,
Busy and quiet decks.

The blue sky is bright,
The narcissist clouds scream for attention,
'Hey, look at us! We decorate the sky!'
A fisherman who I don't know,
Waves his hands to me,
A full smiling face he shows me.

Then,
I look down,
The sea is black,
Not blue.

The boats show their true skins,
Rusty,
Disgusting,
Shell fish hanging each of the ship's body.

I look up,
To the sky above my head,
The sky isn't THAT blue,
The clouds aren't even THAT white.

That smiling fisherman is still waving,
Waiting for an expectation to come true,
I'm so sorry,
I can't afford a smile,
I just can't now.

*dedicated to my sis*