The Workshop

After a short restless sleep, I made my way to the ballroom that morning. Not all committee members were there yet and neither were the participants.

I looked at my watch when the photographer asked us to take group pictures. It's 8.35. When we finished the photo session, it was already 8.45.The opening had been scheduled at 8.30....

We finally had our opening with only 75% of total number of participants. I heard the people here started their activities at 9, the earliest time their standard.

Long formal ceremonies (including a 3-language prayer!) ended at 9.15. My session began at 10 after a coffee break and another speech from Diknas.

As expected,the audience wasn't excited. 'It's still too early,' I thought. The air con was very chilly. Everybody was struggling to cope with that.

Stage after stage, I started to feel that there's something out of the ordinary. Something that never happened in any of my session before.... I couldn't feel any 'connection' with the majority.

A participant asked me a question and she asked my permission to speak in Bahasa. After that question, a male teacher gave his comment by beginning it by saying, 'Saya diam dari tadi,bu.Karena saya tidak bisa berbahasa Inggris.Leganya hati saya ketika ada Ibu yang bertanya dalam bahasa Indonesia. Mengenai hal pengajaran,bu ... bla...bla...bla....' GUBRAG!!!!

His remark was a red alert for me. I understood then that the chemistry failed to happen because they had absolutely no idea of what I was talking.

I had no choice. Though it's an English speaking context and the topic was teaching English, I eventually spoke in English and Bahasa. I felt awkward. I felt silly. I don't know why I feel that I'm making a fool out of myself.

So, when the day was finally over, I didn't get that satisfaction I normally do. Or, is it my ego-idealism talking?