A Chocolaty 'Offer'

So many times I gaze at the sky and think 'what am I doing (actually) in this world?', 'what's the purpose of my living here?'. I know, I know, it's a never-ending question. It's a question with an answer that I'd probably get when I am 'there' with Him.

Jotting down the things I have to think (not really hoping to find the answer to the question but close enough to find the reasons to live), I come to decide that these three 'stuff' are part of my 'formula' for living.

Family has always been the first thing on my list: love the members, provide them, unite them, listen to them. At other times, become a troublemaker, drama queen and a whinner. :) Family is a sanctuary.

Friends.... I have lots of them. One thing that I must feel proud about is my ability to keep the connection going. Not every so often, just two texts per year. That's the minimum. I've searched for friends from elementary school to college. And I am still doing it now. When it comes to talking about the past, it's always great. The meetings with them are like an 'escape' from anything that you have to face on daily basis.

Working, to me, has always been 'a school'. My 'classmates' are the people I work with. The 'teacher' is the experience of working. And the subjects? Well, it's basically all the activities related to the job description. For example, in the 'subject' of presenting to clients, my classmates are my co-presenter and my audience.When I blunder or suceed, the experience teaches me something. When I'm successful, I get to learn the next 'subject'. That's work as 'a school'.

Work can also be like a box of chocolate. You'll never know what to get and when you get it, you'll never know what the 'taste' will be like. Everybody says that cherry chocolate is delicious. Not for me. Hazelnut and Brazilian nut taste better.

People tell me that this particular 'chocolate' is nice. It's the generally liked flavor or filling and everybody seems to want that kind of 'chocolate'. Suuuureee, it's very tempting. But, I don't know what I think. Never tasted it before. I am not even sure I want to have a taste.

And then there's this talk, that when I have the 'chocolate', I'll be doing a 'saviour' role to my 'classmates'. Aarrrgh.... Don't you hate that 'we-all-need-you-to-save-us-here' excuse? Or the ever famous 'we-know-you-can-do-it'psychological persuasion? :(

I value chocolate and 'chocolate'. 'Chocolate' is not meant to be bitten and then spat out. Once I bite it, I'll bear and grin the chewing and the swallowing. But first, I have to decide.

So, again, I ask the question, "What am I doing in this world?" Let me rephrase that, "If I taste the 'chocolate', will the world be a better place?" and if I do, is it for others? Or also for me?