What It Takes to Be Sane

Last week was truly a mayhem.

Life was like ... super fast. And I mean SUPER.

New class to open, meetings to attend, politics to bear, and a video project to finish. Something played tricks on me. As if my close-to-be-insane mind were not insane enough. Maybe something, someone or myself altogether. They made this conspiracy. And the object is me.

I chose to grin and bear everything last week. At times, I chose to let my mind work but not my body. In gatherings, I just think, I don't speak. It saved more energy that way. I forgot to eat, or simply had no time for it. Sometimes, sleeping before 12 was a luxury.

I took vitamins, drank plenty of water, and had fruits everytime I could. Yet, my insanity-defense mechanism was not enough to make me stay on the ground. The Friday earthquake made its 'wonderful' touch to break me to my limit.

As a result?

I cried.

One little set of conversation became the detonator of my emotional breakdown.

Just one set. And it's not even a face-to-face one.

It was embarassing and yet relieving at the same time. It's not even an important matter, now to come to think of it. I guess anything you hear when you're on the edge wouldn't make you feel good about anything.

After that crying-like-a-baby moment, I felt good. It's like... my brain was empty and I felt calm. A kind of 'scary' calm moment. But I liked it.

I went to the office the next day happily. Not thinking. My mind was as clear as the blue sky.

It's weird, but it's true.

:-)