What Ramadhan Brings

It's fasting month already tomorrow. As always, I miss my loved ones. I miss togetherness. *sob sob sob* It's not easy to snap my fingers to myself and say that everything is going to be alright. Like it or not, I feel that my family world has shattered. This is, of course, my lunatic mind. But, it's real. It's R E A L.

On the days before Ramadhan, during and several weeks after that, I've got that mellow feeling every single year for the past six years. I miss waking up and my Mom was already in the kitchen. My Dad was usually still asleep. I miss knocking at my brother and my sister's doors and shouting,"Woi, wake up. Sahur! Sahurrrr!"

There would always be some Turkish dates and some sweets on the table such as Beng Beng or Bagelen during that early breakfast time and we would sit together and eat the main course quietly.And the sweets, of course. Afterwards, I and my sister would fight over who got to do the dishes. It's supposedly done by each of us in turn every other day but sometimes I cheated. Hihihi.

Then Mom would do the morning prayer. And since she couldn't do it standing up, she'd to be satisfied by doing it sitting down in her room. After that, it's all quiet again. Everybody was back to sleep.

A few days before Lebaran, Mom and I would order some Lebaran food from her friends. And we all would do our Shalat Ied in a nearby location. Then, it's that family moment again. We didn't even care what the television programs were. Those operettas or musicals or music performances. What we did was a hundred thousands better. Sometimes we would travel to our relatives in Solo, Semarang and Cirebon on the first Lebaran Day. All five of us in that car. Back then, we were all 'small'.

I cherish Ramadhan for it brings nothing but good. But Ramadhan does bring memory. A friend who had this same feeling because it will be the first time for her to have Ramadhan without her father wrote in her status showing how mellow she thinks she will. I gave her a long advice. And a sentence: somehow, there are things that we have to learn to live with and to live without.

Wishing you all Moslem friends, a blessed Ramadhan.