Missing Togetherness

In this diner's place, I could hear the song 'Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You' as the background music. There are only two tables with occupants, mine and next to mine. I have finished my soup and water.

There are a mother, a father and a small boy who immediately order gado-gado, a specialty of the house after they sit down. When the food arrive, they begin to eat. The father asks his son to try out a new veggie, probably string bean because I hear a grunt of disagreement from the son.

"Come on. Try it out. It's delicious. Come on, Daddy will help. Here, here."

The son has a bite and then swallows (with a funny face, I guess because it's not my habit to look at people).

The father then says,"Come on. Try it with the sauce."

The boy gives it another try. This time he swallows it successfully.

After a while, the son decides to have a go with his own eating style, the mother says,"Here, let me put you on my lap. It'll make you sit higher. Come on."

They continue on with their own conversation starting from the difference of the gado-gado of this place compared to the other, the healthy life, Blackberry and other topics with the son.

The event brings some flashbacks of memories. My family used to eat out a lot. It didn't matter how much money my parents had, it seemed that we were never in a difficult financial situation. One choice was a street vendor selling mie rebus nyemek when we were in Jogja. The place was within walking distance and we had to wait like forever to get a portion because they only had one wok and they made the noodle one portion at a time! It was very affordable for us.

Then, when we could afford to buy halal Chinese food, we went to try out the food. Though the place was almost 2 kilometers away, we walked. It was usually right after magrib when the sky was still red and the breeze was perfect. On the way, I could step on some special rows of stones covering the sidewalk, jumping here and there trying out my body balance. Crazy? Oh yes. And you bet I still do that NOW. Hehehe. On the way home, we would walk and bought that serabi inggris I loved so much. Delicious and fragrant. We talked. We laughed. All members of the family.

It's all about togetherness.
Everybody must participate. Everybody must join the 'event'.

At 'events' when my father was invited to business slash social dinners or lunches, he would bring the whole family together, no matter how we hated to behave. Hehehe. The same went for family gathering.

Again, it's all about togetherness.

Now, they are just memories. I am glad to have such memories. But I am sad at the same time. Listening to what the family are doing. Chatting. The warmth. The love. The togetherness. Aw, it's hard.

I am covering my mouth with my left hand. Gritting my teeth. Controlling my sadness mixed with the feeling of longing. Struggling for my tears to stop at the end of the corner of my eyes. From being used to togetherness to ... what...? I don't even know the name.

It's the situation. Change can be hard to take. I don't want to point my fingers at anybody. I think I'd blame it to the background music. HUH!