Can Still Thank Him

For as long as I live, nothing scares me more than a lousy physical condition with a cause I can't see or fix myself. I could go to the extreme about it, you know. Once I had a sore eyelid. I took a needle, cleaned it by burning it on fire and poked the sharp end into the white tip of a swollen inner part of the lid. Blood, pus here and there and I had to squeeze hard to make sure no bad content was left in it otherwise it can cause internal infection. I guess the ancestors would do the same thing in a time when there wasn't any physician available. So I thought, 'What the he**. I could do the same.'

But, but what if the problem is somewhere in my tummy?
I've bled for about six months. It doesn't hurt at all. No soreness around the pelvic area or anything. I had a tummy check around two years ago and the doctor said that there's nothing there.

'Hormonal imbalance'. Have you heard of that? The cause could be because of many factors. In my case, my oversized size. I know, I know. I have been struggling with the efforts to lose my weight for the sake of my backbone condition. And now, there's another reason to do so. Anyhow, this imbalance makes my body chemistry go nuts. One symptom of this is the bleeding. My uncle who's a gynecologist said so when I met him and asked him for an advice.

I finally took some medicine prescribed by him. I got tired of my own uncomfortable situation. I gave up relying on my body immune system and supplements. The medicines did work. Still, I don't know why when it's time for my 'guest' to arrive, like now, it gets worse.

The soreness is sometimes unbearable. I have to have a strong grip onto my driving wheel when the pain comes while I'm driving to work. I have skipped work for three days just because of this. I don't bring the panty liners by each item to work just in case. I need to bring a packet of 10 to work just to be save.

I can't move as fast as before. I prefer doing things sitting down instead of standing up. I think twice when I had to drive, worried that the blow could take me anytime. I thought, 'What an ordeal You've given me'. Yet, I still have my patience. Alhamdulillah, I can still say 'Thank you, Allah'. Alhamdulillah.