*crossing fingers* for Myself

Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus.

As a woman, I am officially a Venus(ian?), right? I never consider myself as a Martian. As an Aries, my planet is Mars. Can I say that I am half Martian? Hihihi. I read that a Martian (guys, in this case) tend to hide in a cave when they have things to settle. I know I have my own version of my cave. The idea of a quiet dark room, some time to think, a period to absorb all the info (the ones that exist and the ones that have been missing from sight) and finally some decisions and plans to make. So far this method works. I do get my quiet time though I can't sit in the cave for too long. I mean, who wants to stay in a dark cave forever? Batman? Okkkaaaay. Me? Yikes. Not me.

How had I been feeling? Hmmm. I think I have just experienced a pre-power syndrome. Don't laugh, please. It did get to me. Hard. It drove me nuts. It made me numb and unable to focus. And worst of all? It made me lose my appetite. Wekekekek.

Anyhow, there are so many questions on my mind while in that cave. But after I've done a lot of thinking (and after an Ugly Betty movie. Second episode of its 4th season, by the way. ), all these questions actually come down to just one thing: I am afraid of losing me.

Yet, there's no time to lose. I can't spend too much time thinking about my worries. I have got to snap myself out of this cave and decide what to do next. I have to start when? NEXT WEEK! Thanks to the long holiday and a great family time with my siblings, I have some plans now. I have my dreams. It'll take some time and knowledge to make them to reality (read: work plans) but I think I can do it. They said so.

I'll try to get some done in a short term. Nothing for long term yet. Got some observations and knowledge before deciding in that area. Slowly but surely, I will show myself that I can do it. No, not to others. As usual, I just need to show myself that I can. *crossing fingers* That's the 'me' side that I definitely want to keep.